Inspection
by Unjax
Summary: Nora wants to know what Ilia is


"Boop," And Ilia turned red.

"Nora, be nice." Ren was stern.

"But she literally turned red. Wait… Jaune?'

"Yes, you're using literally correctly… For once."

"She turned red," Ren interjected, "Because she's angry with you."

"But it's lovely! All you do is turn people gray. It _soooo_ boring. She turns red!"

"I!" Ilia snarled. "Am a person!"

"No silly," Nora laughed. "You're a faunus. Ooh, now she's scarlet!"

Ilia jabbed her in the stomach. Nora giggled. "See?! How do you like it? Getting poked and prodded like… like some kind of lab rat!"

"Oh I don't mind. It tickled a bit. Do it again!"

Ilia did. Nora giggled.

"And you're not a rat, you goof! You're like… What are you?"

"A person, like I said."

"Oh let's not go around pretending we're things we're not!"

"NORA!" Ren and Jaune exclaimed in tandem. She shrugged, and turned back to poking Ilia.

"WOULD YOU STOP IT!"

"I guess whether I will depends on whether I keep doing it." She booped Ilia. "Which I guess is a no. I mean I _could_ stop it, but then you'd go back to being pale like Weiss… Do you want to be like a Schnee."

Ilia's mouth bobbed like a fish. Well, not like a fish. Nora was still trying to figure her out.

"Do rainbow fish change their colors?" She asked aloud.

"I think they're called that because they're colorful." Jaune lamented. "I am so, so sorry Ilia."

"Not yet you're not, but you will b- OW!"

"Oops," Nora had missed and poked her eye.

"Why you little-" In her rage, Ilia pulled out her whip.

And sparked it, making it crackle with electricity.

"Oh no," Jaune sighed.

"Oh YES!" Nora grinned.

The whip circled around her. Wasn't like Ren hadn't done it tighter before.

And electricity coursed through her body.

Nora's smile grew to the size of the moon.

"Um…" Ilia looked at her whip nervously. "Why aren't you…"

She whacked it a few times with her palm.

"It's working fine." Ren commented.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! It's working _better_ than fine!" Nora was visibly getting a pump. In eery muscle. At once.

And all that energy, all that fury, all that _raw power_ was unleashed.

In a hug. "She's just so CUTE!" Nora exclaimed.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU BIGGOTED INGRATE!"

"Okay! All you had to do was ask!" Nora put her down, and began circling her. Ilia had resigned herself to the torture as Nora walked around and studied her new friend.

"Is she always-"

"BOO!" She shouted as she jumped from behind the faunus.

"EEK!" She flashed purple, before turning red, then a sigh brought her back to normal.

"Curiouser and curiouser," Nora noted. "Jaune, make a note."

"On what?"

"The science chart?"

"The what?"

"Jaune, you should probably just say 'aye aye,' and leave it at that." Ren suggested.

"Aye… aye?" Nora nodded in contentment.

"Like this?" Ilia finished.

"Only when I'm trying to study the mysteries of the universe!" Doctor Nora proclaimed.

"I'm a chameleon." Ilia pinched her nose in frustration, glowing slightly red.

"So you admit you're not a person? Jaune! Take a note."

"Aye aye," Ilia facepalmed.

"Don't make a note of that." She dictated.

"it's okay, I'm not actually making any notes."

"TREASON!" Nora shouted.

"If you think this is bad, you should see her on pancakes." Jaune chuckled.

"What, like with syrup?" Ilia questioned. Nora growled.

"Well… I suppose it's time for a teaching!"

"Wouldn't it be a lesson?" Ilia muttered, wishing she had never engaged.

"Why would I lessen the teaching? It's a teachable time! You shall have the full force of the… teachening!"

"I…"

"It's best to roll with it." Jaune suggested. Nora ignored them all and got right in Ilia's face.

"You want to know _why_ I don't particularly like the faunus?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why I think they're a bunch of degenerate rapscallions?"

"When did Nora become Weiss?" Jaune was scratching his chin.

"It's because _I'm a victim!"_ Nora seethed.

"Oh don't you _dare_ pull that-" Nora cut Ilia off with a very threatening finger poised to _boop_.

"When I was a child… there was a beautiful stack of pancakes. It was glorious. It was as high as I was tall, each perfect disk twice as wide! And those mongrels… those dirty mongrels… They ate it up! You monsters! You ate it all to hell! Damn you all! So there shall come a day, a day of reckoning, when all your spears shall be shaken, a day when your SHIELDS SHALL BE BROKEN! SWORDS WILL LIE SHATTERED AND YOUR LEGS WILL BE…

"I already said broken didn't I?"

Ilia blinked.

"Fuck you all, I'm out."


End file.
